Thursday, February 14, 2013

What is "Love"?

Define "Love." It's Valentine's Day, after all. Well, there are many definitions. Just Google "definition of love" and watch the wide range of opinions...many have to do directly with sex. Yea...sex. So because someone wants to have sex with you or you with them it's love?! I guess prostitution is love then, right? No. That's the line blurred with love. It has NOTHING to do with sex directly. Can it be an outflow from it? Of course but not the other way around...in my opinion. I think it's more about lust...the desire for another's body. That's lust, not love.

So while searching, I found one I can agree with. This is without using the Bible or Christianity as reference (which truly is the essence of and ultimate example of love) but instead making it real and tangible in the now. So do you agree with Sophocles? (underlines mine)

The most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone. 

Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete

This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It's when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that's how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa. 

It's when they're the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they're the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It's the smile on your face you get when you're thinking about them and miss them. 

Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. If you find it, don't let it go.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: 

That word is love. 

-Sophocles

I underlined a few parts in there that jumped out to me. One really, really stood out: "you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes." Selfless, isn't it? Putting THEM before YOU. Not easy as we are a selfish race by origin...it has to be intentional. A choice.

In my own life, it's a daily pursuit and we look at it differently than we did 2, 5, 10 or 20 years ago. As we journey through our 21st year of marriage, we are truly "in love" more now than ever before. More than at the altar, more than on our honeymoon and more than any other time. We have fun, we travel, we have stopped the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" excuses and we do. We wake up with the pursuit of each other and make every day the best it can be. Before the first foot touches the carpet, a recommittal takes place to distinctly "ground" ourselves in the love we have. I do have to share an example of something coming up...and it makes me laugh out loud and inside every time I think about it. Dancing. Ballroom dancing. I'm sure you've heard of the movie or phrase "white men can't jump." Well, that's me. I stink at just about every sport out there but I can run...a long time. Dancing is something that takes something I just don't have but we're going to give it a shot. Groupon was selling a 6-week package for ballroom dancing for only 35 bucks. So, we booked our weeks yesterday and we're set to "dance" at the end of the month. No doubt...that will be some good blog material!!! Generally speaking, our very best days are when its just us and we don't have any concrete plans and we just set out together. My type-A, minute by minute planning really isn't what works for us and I've taken a step back in that area. Spontaneity really works for us and especially when pleasing the other remains true.

So have a wonderful Valentine's Day and for goodness sake, don't wait for February 14th every year to show the love. Do it 365. By the way, our "species" define love awfully different. What men and women think is love is so different and heck, we're usually wrong about the other one! My wife shared this list with me yesterday that she stole from one of the many blogs she reads. I had to chuckle out loud about picking up the poop in the backyard....yep, that's me!
This is what love is:
  • Doing the dishes each night without being asked 
  • Picking up 7 years worth of dog poop for a dog that’s not even yours 
  • Going to work each day, even when you hate it
  • Taking the time to kiss each other goodbye every single time
  • Bringing home tulips instead of roses because you know she likes those best
  • Taking out the trash, making the bed, sweeping the floor, folding the laundry, cooking dinner, scrubbing the toilet, dusting, vacuuming, windexing, & polishing….even when you don’t feel like it.
  • Getting up with a screaming child in the middle of the night
  • Stopping at Starbucks without complaining, even though it is a waste of money
  • Noticing the one thing that went right even when everything else was all wrong
  • Turning a blind eye to the mess in the corner or closet that drives you nuts
  • Believing she is still as beautiful as the day you met.
  • Watching 50 First Dates over and over again, just because it’s our favorite
  • Not noticing an extra 10 or 15 pounds but always noticing 
  • Celebrating every success
  • Comforting every failure
  • Embracing the quirks that make them who they are
  • Saying please and thank you and I’m sorry and I love you
  • Appreciating the little things
  • Forgiving and forgetting
  • Being present
Us.



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